Most social dancers will not openly admit this, but we typically have a mental "do-not-dance" list. It only takes one dance to be written off the dance floor and it could be you.
So how do you know if you're on the "do-not-dance" list? It's not always obvious but here are a few clues. If you're a leader, then followers will avoid eye-contact or pretend to be busy on their phones when you're scoping out the room for who to approach for a dance. Or if you take the risk and ask, followers will politely decline and immediately dance with someone else without any guilt. Ouch.
If you're a follower on the list, then you'll sit through song after song wondering why a leader hasn't invited you to dance when you're a great catch.
We're sharing the top 5 reasons that might land you on the "do-not-dance" list. If you're already on the list, good luck getting off.
Social dancing involves close contact meaning you're literally inside each other's personal space zone. Not a dancing soul enjoys a partner with strong body odor, bad breath, unkempt hair or drenched in sweat. Practicing good hygiene will get you off the "do-not-dance" list and on the favorite dancers list.
Negative Body Language
Dancing is meant to be pleasurable for all parties and playful. So if you look bored during the dance or disengaged, your partner will not only feel that your energy is "off" but see it written on your face.
Your reaction to mishaps on the dance floor is also telling. Do you grunt when your partner accidentally steps on your toes or make a rude face because they're off beat? Be mindful of the energy that you bring into the dance because it's transferable.
What kind of a person are you off the dance floor? Your character and personality matter. For example, if you're a self-centered person, then that might spill onto the dance floor. Instead of connecting with your partner, you steal all the shine and care most about how you look for your social media posts.
Also, do you have an air of condescension? Beginner dancers never forget the advanced dancers, who never gave them a chance when they were beginners. So as revenge, they usually put those dancers on their "do-not-dance" list when they level up and become social dancing stars.
Rough or Unclear Leads
If a leader doesn't know how much energy to give to a follower and uses excessive force, then they'll definitely be on the list. Followers need to feel safe in the dance and not fear for their well-being. When in doubt, give firm and gentle leads and adjust as necessary.
Leaders strongly dislike followers who try to tell them what to do in the dance or don't listen to the leads given and do their own thing. If you show lack of respect for your partner's leadership, then you will be added to a leader's "do- not-dance" list. To get off the list, there's always two choices: learn how to embody your role and follow or lead instead.
Let us know some of the reasons that you've mentally put someone on your "do-not-dance" list. We'd love to hear from you and help people get on your favorites list!